Chili Eats a Banana
by Spinda Hater Ninety Seven
Summary: This story may not end as you'd think. WARNING: This may be the most random thing you've ever read. Rated T for perverted thoughts. One-Shot.


He was hungry.

After a long, tiring battle against your brother, his stomach was growling like an angry Ursaring. So, strange enough, he went to the kitchen and picked up a banana. He peeled the smooth, yellow piece of fruit and took a bite of the soft inside. That was when the door burst open to a very… very… angry… Cress…

"CHILI!" He yelled, his blue hair vibrating in the sound waves, "THAT'S MY BANANA! I'VE HAD MY EYE ON IT FOR WEEKS!"

"We've only had these bananas for two days…"

"I DON'T CARE! IT'S STILL MINE!"

The redhead slammed the banana onto the table. "Well, I'm eating it anyways! I already took a bite of it!"

"You idiot! It's mine!"

"It's too late now!"

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is!"

"Is no-!"

Their "calm discussion" was interrupted by a large explosion coming from the table. It knocked them against the wall, and when they opened their eyes…

_A giant banana wearing a crown was hovering over the table._

"I AM THE BANANA KING!" It yelled. "YOU SHALL NOT EAT ME!"

With that, it turned back into a normal banana. Cress stood up, brushing his clothes off, and walked over to the table, picking up the banana.

"Screw that, I'm eating it."

He took a bite.

"EEEEYAYAYAYAAAAAH!"

They looked at each other, scared half to death, and threw the banana out the window.

"Well… Err… That was… Weird…"

"Just like your face. Now I dare you to burn water."

Cress walked out, leaving Chili to stand there in confusion. He left the restaurant and went to the supermarket for more supplies. As he was picking out some celery, a man came up behind him.

"Hey, you!"

He turned. "Me?"

"Yeah, you! Do you like chickens?"

"What?"

"Do you like chickens?"

"What does that have anything to do with-?"

"Just answer the question!"

"Um… I guess… But why-?"

"Thank you for taking our White Socks Survey!"

"White- That has nothing to do with chickens!"

"…So what?"

With that, the strange man ran off into the crowd. Cress sighed and continued shopping.

When he got back to the gym/restaurant, he walked into the kitchen and dropped the bags in shock. There were singe marks all over the walls, the biggest right next to the stove. Chili was on the ground, eyes in swirls.

"What in the name of Zerkom happened in here?"

"I… Burnt water… But then it exploded…"

His mouth dropped. "You… idiot… that… was… an… impossible… task…"

"Ooooh…"

Cress groaned. "You're cleaning it up."

"What?"

Before he could get an answer, Cress had walked out of the kitchen, leaving Chili to work alone. He grumbled something under his breath, more that likely something like "I hate that blue-haired freak," and stood up, looking around.

"How am I going to clean this up…"

"I can help you!"

He turned to come face to face with a blue genie with black dots for eyes.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Genie with a Dirty Mind!"

"Can you help me clean this up?"

"Heh heh… Of course!"

He crossed his arms, nodded, and then there was a huge explosion. When the smoke cleared, and Chili stopped coughing, he looked around, eyes wide with fear.

"Cress's gonna kill me…"

There were cats every where, and the walls were pink. Cat toys were covering the counters, and each cat had a bow around her neck.

"Heh heh… Have fun with your girls!"

With that, the Genie with a Dirty Mind poofed away, leaving Chili with the cats. They all turned to look at him, their eyes white in anger.

"Oh crap!" He squeaked out. Every single cat tackled the sixteen year old.

Upstairs, Cress was reading _Little Women._

"OH MY GYAWD!"

He glanced up, looked around, and then returned to his book.

Back in the kitchen, Chili was fighting the cats. They scratched at his face, tore up his clothes, and pulled a little bit of his hair out. He soon had had enough. He pulled out Pansear's Pokeball and took out the red monkey.

"Use Flamethrower!"

Now, I don't think anybody knows this, but cats are extremely flammable.

All of the felines were now running around like crazy, fur burning up. Soon, it was just Chili standing there, face bleeding slightly, in his underwear, burnt cat corpses surrounding him. Pansear was standing there, eyes wide open and mouth dropped. Chili put it into its Pokeball before it could be any more scarred. He then ran upstairs to get changed into actual clothes.

Cress closed his book, smiling at the sweet ending. He turned around and watched his half-naked triplet go running by. Curious, he walked downstairs and opened the door to the kitchen.

"WHAT THE-!"

The End.


End file.
